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Like the public. You think your current financial. LinkedIn sets the lidc cookie to facilitate data center selection. ", 55. They own all the important land. Now come the lawsuits, Weird Texas GOP bill would give big tax cuts only to hetero couples with lots of kids, Libs Of TikToks Chaya Raichik & Nikki Haley gave CPAC speeches to mostly empty rooms, 5 times The Onion brilliantly skewered J.K. Rowlings & The New York Times transphobia, A right-wing podcaster tried to smear Pete Buttigieg. Laugh until you gasp for breath. This is what we have to offer. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. This cookie can only be read from the domain they are set on and will not track any data while browsing through other sites. ", 46. This ensures that the cookie consent box will not be presented again upon re-entry. Determines whether the visitor has accepted the cookie consent box. By clicking Accept All Cookies, you agree to the storing of cookies on your device to enhance site navigation, analyze site usage, and assist in our marketing efforts. "Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. George Carlin: Dumb Americans (2006) - Full Transcript Used to help protect the website against Cross-Site Request Forgery attacks. - Arthur Baer. Change), You are commenting using your Facebook account. ", 13. AddThis sets this cookie to enable the visitors to share the web pages on social platforms via sharing buttons on the website. Theyre not interested in that. To me, war is a lot of prick-waving! Everybody complains about politicians. This helps to distinguish between new, returning, and loyal visitors. December 2, 2015, 3:27 PM. If a dog can do it, you can watch. George Carlin. In 1972, he was arrested for violating obscenity laws after his infamous comedy sketch, 7 Words You Can Never Say On Television. This cookie is used to manage the interaction with the online bots. They dont want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. This cookie is used as a unique identifier for the BlueConic profile. JIM STAFFORD. Transcribed part of speech begins at 10.33 13 May 1999, National Press Club, Washington DC, USA This is an incomplete transcript made by Raven Developers . If You're Preschool, You're F*cked': Read George Carlin's Epic 1996 Rant Against Anti-Abortion Conservatives . ", 79. "It helps to remember this.. Quote by George Carlin: "Forget the politicians. The politicians are Dumb ass motherfuckers., The real owners, the big, wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. Lijit Advertising Platform sets this cookie temporarily, when multiple partners pass their IDs to the platform simultaneously. ", 7. In his 1996 HBO special Back in Town , the late comic legend and social critic George Carlin nailed the hypocrisy of social conservatives who rail against abortion and birth control with. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. People are stupid because, well, people are stupid. After that, they dont want to know about you. After that, they don't wanna know about you. The _omappvs cookie, used in conjunction with the _omappvp cookies, is used to determine if the visitor has visited the website before, or if it is a new visitor. ", 48. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. George Carlin, Men are from Earth; women are from Earth. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. ", 115. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying. As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all incentive because we've given them too much money. George Carlin, I am is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. If you're born in America you get a front row seat. Hatred/ bias against opposition: Have you noticed that nearly every time, Mr. Trump is questioned, or feels accused, etc, he replies by bringing up his less - than - popular former political opponent, Hillary Clinton, and repeats claims which have been refuted and disputed, numerous times, but his core followers, continue to accept? The cookie, set by Krux Digital, registers a unique ID that identifies a returning user's device. Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Photo: Matthias Clamer (modified by author) Source: Getty Images One-liner jokes. Here's Why George Carlin's 1996 Rant on Pro-Life Conservatives - Mic You have OWNERS! He was regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics of all time. "Religion is like a pair of shoes: Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes. ", 77. July 18, 1999 - George Carlin - 2002-02-01 - VOA He has been widely cited as a political humor expert and authored two books on the subject. What are George Carlin's political leanings? - Quora 120+ George Carlin Quotes On Politics, Government And Religion You have no choice. With his daring satirical jokes, his words will make you laugh and make you think profoundly about everything you experience. ", 42. These Politicians Don't Care About You At All The failures of people who supposedly represent the people Photo by Marco Oriolesi on Unsplash When people elect leaders in a democracy, the. These Politicians Don't Care About You At All - Medium We're so self-important. "If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. Trouble is, most of them suck. Provided by amazon-adsystem to make advertising messages more relevant to the users and their interests. His beliefs in fairness and equality in. This is one of the greatest social and political commentaries of the modern era. They own everything. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning. Theres a nice campaign slogan for somebody: The Public Sucks. Nobody seems to care. "If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isnt the whole airplane made out of that stuff? George Carlin Nailed Conservative Hypocrisy On Abortion More - HuffPost Thats right. Enter your email address below then click "FOLLOW" to receive email notifications of new posts. They've long since bought and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the statehouses, the city halls. ", 88. "The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. They dont want that. In fact, liberals are so successful at winning the culture war that they are alienating most Americans. 03 Mar 2023 16:21:02 Well, where do people think these politicians come from? ", 3. Related: When it comes to mass shootings, the problem isnt Republicans or the NRA. "Weather forecast for tonight: dark. 51 Genius Quotes That Prove George Carlin Was A Modern Philosopher George Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, actor, social critic and author. On Election Day, I stay home. He famously said he didn't vote, so he couldn't be to blame for whatever shit show we got ourselves into. Teach them to question everything. George Carlin, People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think. George Carlin, Theres a humorous side to every situation. Used by Microsoft Advertising as a unique ID for visitors. Men are insecure about the size of their dicks, and so they have to kill one another over the idea. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. I'm a cowboy who . The stand up comic was an artist who did more than articulate the public's subconscious; he embodied America's intellectual counter culture and provided sanctuary from the crisis of modernity. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. YouTube sets this cookie via embedded youtube-videos and registers anonymous statistical data. The people left of center were liberals; the people right of center were conservatives. This cookie is used to detect and defend when a client attempt to replay a cookie.This cookie manages the interaction with online bots and takes the appropriate actions. I think. That's generally been true. Learn how your comment data is processed. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever til the end of time! "People always tell me 'Have a nice day.' You have owners. You dont have to be a historian or a political scientist to see the bigger-dick foreign policy at work. And generally speaking again it's all generalized the left-of-center people are more concerned with humans and human beings and human concerns; to the care of humans, not the care and worry about property rights. Weve addedyearstolifenotlife to years. George Carlin, Heres a bumper sticker Id like to see: We are the proud parents of a child whos self-esteem is sufficient that he doesnt need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car. George Carlin, Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight? George Carlin, Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. They want your fuckin retirement money. "If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. This cookie is used for storing country code selected from country selector. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". "Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers? The late comedian often times poked fun at religion, politics, and social justice. In no way does superstitious nonsense like this apply to the lives of intelligent, civilized human beings in the 21st Century. "How can [God] be perfect? Everybody says they suck. You voted them in. They dont give a fuck about you. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbyinglobbying to get what they want. They should be more vivid. Because he was a genius, and here are 11 quotes that prove it: 1. Carlin's rueful 1996 routine about conservatives' opposition to abortion ("they will do anything for the unborn, but once you're born, you're on your own") became a newly viral phenomenon and. Its part of that showoff and dropout syndrome. The Strange Afterlife of George Carlin - The New York Times You know what the motto for this country ought to be? Honestly, I'd lean towards anarchist. And they own all the big media companies, so that they control just about all of the news and information you hear. RLCDN sets this cookie to provide users with relevant advertisements and limit the number of ads displayed. George Carlin: Complaints & Grievances (2001) - IMDb Well, where do people think these politicians come from? So I don't trust none of them. George Carlin's Funniest Political Quotes - LiveAbout George Carlin: 'Politicians don't actually say things, they INDICATE This narrative is based on a deliberate fiction. By the way, its the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. George Carlin: Life Is Worth Losing George Carlin told us about the Corona panic years ago Ryan Davis 3.5M views 2 years ago Joe Rogan | George Carlin's Lost 9/11 Special JRE Clips 2.6M. These Are The Most Controversial Comedians! - msn.com "Governments don't want well-informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking. Politicians don't care about you. It doesn't matter what side you're on I like people who buck the system. ", 5. YouTube sets this cookie to store the video preferences of the user using embedded YouTube video. NID cookie, set by Google, is used for advertising purposes; to limit the number of times the user sees an ad, to mute unwanted ads, and to measure the effectiveness of ads. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". The ad-id cookie is provided by Amazon Advertising for tallying user actions by tracking ad clicks on other websites, to provide targeted content. "Boy, these conservatives are really something, arent they? They own you. George Carlin Quotes (Author of Brain Droppings) - Goodreads The dmvk cookie is set by Dailymotion to record data of visitor behaviour on the website. "Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did. Try spelling Evian backward. ", 82. New evidence may suggest they don't and many voters are skeptical, too. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZijLQGH1v0 No, wait, hold on . ", 29. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. 2. "It's important in life if you don't give a s**t. It can help you a lot. "Laugh often, long and loud. It's a Big Club, and You Ain't in It: George Carlin as Social and And if they tell you youre not a team player, congratulate them on being observant. George Carlin. They dont want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. "In America, anyone can become president. It enables the embedding of Mix Cloud audio player. A cat's "meow" can be a "woof" for him. He missed this one. "What if there were no hypothetical questions? ", 94. ""You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. AddThis sets this cookie to track page visits, sources of traffic and share counts. I didn't bother with him. ", George Carlin's acerbic wit and profound societal insights were a one time cultural phenomenon. ""Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. ", 118. ", 22. Known for his lack of patience for bullshit, the comedian regularly skewered all politicians, the election of Donald Trump as president. ", 114. George Carlin - It's A BIG Club & You Ain't In It! - YouTube I don't like cats. This cookie is associated with Yahoo Search Analytics and is used for advertising purposes. These George Carlin quotes on life showcase his wit, ingenuity and geniusand, occasionally, his potty mouth, which was part of his signature charm. The late George Carlin was a genius with words, a deft dasher of conventional logic, and a master observer (and master-baiter!) Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. "I have lots of ideas. ""Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. It gloriously backfired, Dictionary.com just added several new LGBTQ+ words & also grundle, Love, drugs & the club: As a gay man, life looks different with a new disability, Kim Petras says the road to fame while trans was twice as long, School bans parents as a threat to kids over LGBTQ-affirming posts, Sam Smith is trending on Twitter and the discourse is truly Unholy. "We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. 125 George Carlin Quotes 1. You dont. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. ", 4. Thats against their interests. And nobody seems to notice. I just dont have as many people who believe it. George Carlin, Now, theres one thing you might have noticed I dont complain about: politicians. RT @JamesMelville: "They own everythingThey don't care about youThey got you by the balls." ~ George Carlin He absolutely nailed it. It helps in consumer profiling for online advertising. George Carlin. Bing sets this cookie to recognize unique web browsers visiting Microsoft sites. ", 92. ""The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post 'Thou shalt not steal,' 'Thou shalt not commit adultery,' and 'Thou shalt not lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to get selfish, ignorant leaders. 27 Feb 2023 13:57:17 This cookie is set by Segment to count the number of people who visit a certain site by tracking if they have visited before. They don't want to hear from you . George Carlin's Epic Rant Against Anti-Abortion Activists - Mediaite My first rule: I dont believe anything the government tells me. They own everything.. Nobeody seems to care. An old clip of George Carlin is gaining new life after this week's reports from the Supreme Court on abortion. Amen and Awomen. This is what we have to offer. 123 Rocky_Roku 1 yr. ago Didn't he say that he despised liberalism just as much as conservatism? "It's called the American dream . "Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bulls**t they teach you in school. - George Carlin. If he wants to just lecture with his opinions then he gets lectured back with other peoples opinions. the politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. Thats what all that asshole jock bullshit is all about. ", 10. If youre offended by foul language dont watch this f**king video. "Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to f**k.", 71. When youre born in America, you get a front row seat. George Carlin, Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? George Carlin, Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. George Carlin, Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. George Carlin, Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, Weve learned how to make aliving, but not alife. AA: George Carlin can say some outrageous things -- years ago the US Supreme Court found his "seven filthy words" monolgue "indecent." RS: But when he stopped at the National Press Club in. This cookie is installed by Google Universal Analytics to restrain request rate and thus limit the collection of data on high traffic sites. Crown thy good into temptation but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming. Take George Carlin, for example. The __qca cookie is associated with Quantcast. Two decades later, the anti-abortion movement hasn't really changed. A 2018 survey by the Pew Research Center reports that less than half the country says elected officials care what . "My advice: just keep moving straight ahead. Chartbeat sets this cookie to store information about when a visitor has visited the site before. "Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. We're all fucked," Carlin once said. God has a three-day weekend. In fact, sometimes you get the impression that theyre the only ones who vote. When it comes to mass shootings, the problem isnt Republicans or the NRA. Good honest hard-working people white collar, blue collar, it doesnt matter what color shirt you have on. ", 83. It's what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. How do school teachers handle this? ", 26. That's against their interests. "It's never just a game when you're winning. ", 6. "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. They are irrelevant. You and I are not in The Big Club. This information is then used to select advertisements delivered by the platform and measure the performance of the advretisement and attribute their payments. "Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. I just dont have as many people who believe it. That is against their interests. George Carlin "Forget the Politicians" and tells it like it is The quote continues: "They own all the important land. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelette? George Carlin, Laugh often, long and loud. That's about as close as you could get to pegging him as any party affiliation. Keep your circle small. Whatever you do dont make it go viral! ", 63. Remembering George Carlin : NPR They OWN YOU. The sp_landing is set by Spotify to implement audio content from Spotify on the website and also registers information on user interaction related to the audio content. Twitter sets this cookie to integrate and share features for social media and also store information about how the user uses the website, for tracking and targeting. I'm f**kin' serious! On June 24, 2022, the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade and ended a women's constitutional right to an abortion in the country. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. George Carlin, I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimers disease where they slowly began to recover other peoples lost memories. George Carlin, When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. "I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the s**t out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker. Most are only interested in self pleasures and bad habits. Whenever some boomer try's to lecture you about how their first job in the 60s they only made $3 an hour, just remember, $3 in 1969 had the equivalent buying power as $25.01 today. ", 105. I think I was probably a cowboy in a past life. "Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist. ", 31. "If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? Its a subconscious need to project the penis into other peoples affairs. Over time, though, his success grew. This cookie is used for preventing the installation of third party advertiser or other cookies on the browser. Known for his lack of patience for bullshit, the comedian regularly skewered all politicians, the election of Donald Trump as president would have particularly peeved him. ", 45. "Most people with low self-esteem have earned it. I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. "Some people see the glass half full. "Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice? 87 Best George Carlin Quotes On Education, Politics & Life - Succeed Feed ""Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. 100 George Carlin Funny Quotes On Religion, Stupid People I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. Juno3127 10 years ago You couldn't be more wrong. "There's a humorous side to every situation. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." 2. ", Join half a million readers enjoying Newsweek's free newsletters. "Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight? George Denis Patrick Carlin ( May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American stand-up comedian, actor, author, singer, voice artist, and comedian, noted especially for his irreverent attitude and his observations on politics, language, psychology, and religion, as well as some taboo subjects. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. "Would a fly without wings be called a walk? The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. RIP George Carlin. Did George Carlin have the best comedy routine on every political "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. This cookie is set by Prebid Server. "Men are from. Thats all it is. The rights and the rights of property. "Maybe its not the politicians who suck; maybe its something else. Others see it half empty. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. I say: 'No no no,' because that really would be the kiss of death," Carlin said in his final interview before his death in 2008. . My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. This cookie is used for implementing audio files on the website. ", 8. YSC cookie is set by Youtube and is used to track the views of embedded videos on Youtube pages. Join. ", 107. You have owners. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was. George Carlin, How is it possible to have a civil war? George Carlin, Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? A group of slave owners who wanted to be free! Carlin did this better than anyone else. Carlin was known for keeping things real, and his funny jokes were sure to get a laugh out of anyone. These current events and social issues that are relevant today . ", 108. "That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. There's only the immediate future and the recent past. The cookies contains information that allows Prebid servers to distinguish between browsers and mobile devices. Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. "People are fucking nuts. ", 16. George Carlin Shitting on Government for 8 Minutes Straight We're all fucked," Carlin once said. Weve added years to life, not life to years. As politicians and social media commentators weighed in on . They will do anything for the unborn. Its called fucking with people! ", 2. ", 109. George Carlin : Designed to scare and control primitive people. This cookie is set by Facebook to display advertisements when either on Facebook or on a digital platform powered by Facebook advertising, after visiting the website.